When you ask kids in kindergarten what they want to be when they grow up, they respond by telling you they want to be a doctor, fireman, policeman, athlete, or superhero. They let their imagination run wild with possibilities, not knowing or understanding what each of these career paths may entail. They don’t have to think about what education they will need, the years they will have to spend in school, the average salary of these careers, and what their lifestyle will look like with each chosen career. Often children do not put much thought into their careers because they are children, and their brains are not yet developed for serious decision making.
When our children reach high school in grade nine, there may be pressure for them to start to go back to what they would like to be when they grow up. Although they may look a lot older than when they were in kindergarten, their brains have not yet developed enough to make these serious life decisions. Their brain, specifically their frontal lobes, are not yet fully developed, and thus their sense of self and ability to make lifelong decisions is impaired.
The Adolescent Brain
The prefrontal cortex starts to develop in adolescence and into one’s early adult life. This part of the brain is responsible for planning, complex cognitive behavior, decision making, personality expression, and moderating social behavior. It allows us the ability to align our thoughts and actions following our goals. The prefrontal lobes are involved in executive function which relates to our ability to differentiate among conflicting thoughts to determine what is good or bad, what is the same and different, consider future consequences of the actions we take today, prediction of outcomes, expectations related to actions, goal setting and work towards goals, abstract thought, and the ability to not use risky or aggressive behavior.
Just because their brains are not fully developed does not mean they do not know the difference between right and wrong or that they can’t make good decisions or be held responsible for their actions. It can just be helpful for parents, teachers, and advocates to be aware of so they can help understand, anticipate, and manage the behaviors or adolescence.
Since the prefrontal cortex of adolescence is not fully developed, yet they have a hard time making and understanding the consequences of their decisions and how they will impact them later in life. Often there is pressure in our society for adolescents to know what they want to be when they grow up so they can plan their high school courses in accordance with those goals.
Adolescent brains are rapidly changing, and there are opportunities for growth and development. This is a time for students to be exploring different healthy activities to strengthen healthy pathways in their brains. Research has shown that children’s IQ can change in this time of rapid brain development. It is important to have adolescence involved in exercise, learning, and meditation to help develop healthy brain circuitry. It’s also good to know that some adolescents may be late bloomers due to their brain development and that they can make up for it with healthy activities.
With this knowledge parents and teachers can help guide students to possible career choices by exploring with them the areas they find enjoyable and where they excel. Also, knowing the areas where they excel may change as their brain matures into adulthood. If your child appears to be behind, know that it could be due to their brain development and not to their lack of wanting to succeed. Having patience and understanding will help your child maintain their self-esteem, which significantly impacts their success and well-being later in life. It can be difficult not to push your child to make decisions and to plan out their career trajectory from an early age, but their brains are not ready for this yet, and too much pressure can result in them feeling ashamed, guilty and less worthy beliefs that could stay with them into adulthood.
Understanding that your child is not intentionally unable to make decisions or to think through their actions is not due to defiance or a lack of intelligence, but due to their brain development can take some pressure off. During this time in their development, it’s important to foster their ability to learn and grow while supporting their mental health and well-being.
Adolescence is a time to explore their strengths, values, and interests. Helping them to grow, learn, and develop more self-awareness that will aid them in discovering their future direction. If your child is 15 or older, it may be good for them to take a career assessment to help them narrow down possible career directions that match their aptitude, values, interests, and personality to different real-life jobs.